Ok, so it’s not like my comedy trajectory has really changed that much since moving to Chicago. I mean, how far along was I really? I was getting work twice a year at Helium (which I can still do) and I had the ability to go up to New York to do shows (which I barely ever did). Other than that, I was basically just doing open mics and the occasional showcase, which is what I’m doing in Chicago.
But the difference is, I’m no longer comfortable. I miss my friends, but in some ways they shielded me from the realization that I wasn’t really pushing myself as hard as I could. Now, as I sit in these bars, waiting ninety minutes for four, I feel unsettled. Like I’m just treading water when I should be aiming for shore.
So I’ve decided to start being annoying. I hate bugging people for spots, but I don’t know how else to get them. It’s not like I’m one of the guys anymore. I’m barely even a guy here. Being aloof seems to have worked for Zach Galifianakis, but it doesn’t work for me. I’m not blazingly original; I’m just trying to do a traditional form of comedy, better. So I gotta get in people’s faces until they book me.
Here’s my magic plan for how to get booked: I email bookers. And if they ignore me, I wait 3 weeks and email them again. If a club doesn’t list an email, I’m calling and asking for a manager. Or at least, I did that once. See, this is hard for me. I don’t even know why, it’s not really taxing at all. You write a nice, polite, three sentence email and you wait three weeks.
Anyway, if you run a show I’m probably going to bother you at some point. But if you run a show, you’re probably used to that.
Kent, let me—Andrew Nice Clay—tell you something, I faced these same speedbumps on the road to becoming Tibet’s most popular Confrontational Compliment Comedian™, and let me impart to you some wisdom that I read on one of the road signs on that road, off to the side of that road, in the weeds, obscured partially by a low hanging apple tree: Life is a Journey. Wear Comfortable Shoes. Nike.